Top 10 Executive Orders Trump Has Signed So Far
Shortly after being sworn in, Trump went on an executive order signing spree to lay the groundwork for his administration. With more than 200 executive orders on the table, we at The Gas Lamp decided to help save you the time of doing the research by highlighting the 10 most important ones.
Canceling Black History Month and making February 29th Black History Day - There’s no reason they need a whole month and no reason we need to celebrate it every year.
Moving the Statue of Liberty to the southern border - It’ll be just tall enough to peek over the border wall and tease the Mexicans with what they’re missing out on.
Renaming the Moon - Elon thinks the current name is too bland and doesn’t show off the fact that America was the first to land on it. They’re thinking of something cool like ‘The Space Orb’ or ‘Johnny’.
Eliminating trans fats from food - According to Trump’s understanding of macro nutrition, it's the trans fats that are making everyone so queer.
Changing the English language to make nouns masculine and feminine - Trump will never admit that Europeans do some things right but, like trans fats, having woke, genderless words is an affront to the Christian values America was founded upon.
Calling things “gay” and “retarded” once again - It’s no coincidence that America has been more gay and retarded since we started letting privileged white girls bully us into self-censorship.
Bringing back Club Penguin - Rumor has it, Obama shut it down because Sasha and Malia got banned for telling other players their dad was going to drone strike them. In the new version, Trump promises players can say whatever they want with no filter.
Cutting funding from the Avengers - As everyone knows, Biden wasn’t all there towards the end and approved $200 million in funding for the Avengers - who he thought was an elite unit of Navy SEALs. Plus if Trump is going to fund any superhero gang, it’s going to be the based Justice League.
Having a mascot and cheerleading squad at all official White House events - The golden age of America is here, and that means pep through the roof!
Giving TMZ the exclusive rights to all White House television proceedings - C-SPAN is a snooze fest and politics is a joke. The people’s house is about to get lit!