Chinese Tourists Plead For Directions To ‘Great American City Of Cancel’ To Experience ‘Cancel Culture’

NEW YORK CITY, NY - After harassing several joggers and families in Central Park on Wednesday, police were called when a group of Chinese tourists interrupted a live NY1 broadcast trying to get directions to “great American city of Cancel” to experience cancel culture.

“Where Cancel? We want to see Cancel culture,” the tourists were caught saying on camera. Eventually, officers were able to calm the tourists down and explain to them that they were simply confused. Officer Tony Scuglioni said, “I couldn’t understand ‘em at first. I thought they got lost trying to find China Town. Then I realized they meant ‘cancel culture’ like what the liberal yahoos in D.C. are trying to do to Donald Trump. That’s when I explained to them that they don’t really want to experience ‘cancel culture’. I told ‘em if they really wanted to be cancelled, just call someone a faggot on Twitter… but they didn’t seem to get that.”

The next day, officers were called again when the same group of tourists were asking residents where they could go ‘paint houses’ – which many took as a threat. “I don’t know where these fellas are getting their news from, but they’re more scrambled up than a bowl of ramen noodles. They asked me if they could “taste New York’s finest.” I think they thought that was code for a hot dog. Then they asked me what part of the city the big apple was in. I even had to stop them from trying to fight some dude who walked by in a Wu Tang Clan shirt which they thought had to do with some ancient Chinese dynasty that supposedly killed their family two-hundred years ago. Eventually I gave up and bought them an all day pass on one of those double-decker buses to settle ‘em down.”

At press time, the tourists were found on Wall Street asking pedestrians where they could find cocaine and prostitutes to which they delightfully received lots of positive feedback and answers.