WINNER - Harrison Butker: Nothing like scoring the game winning kick against one of your biggest rivals to make everyone forget that you’re a raging misogynist. 

LOSER - Tua Tagovailoa: You can’t throw up gang signs like that in Miami without expecting some heat. CTE hits hard, but Puerto Ricans hit harder. 

WINNER - Eddy Pineiro: At least someone on the Panthers is doing their job. 

LOSER - Dak Prescott: Three years featuring in Sleep Number mattress ads, and he’s still waiting for the free one they promised him when he signed contract. No wonder the Cowboy’s can’t win a Super Bowl, the man can’t get a good night’s sleep!

WINNER - Bill Belichick: His 25-year-old cosmetologist girlfriend still hasn’t realized he’s not the head coach for the Patriots anymore and thinks the NFL season starts in December. Way to go, Bill. 

LOSER - Joe Burrow: It’s been three weeks since Joe texted Eminem a picture of his new bleached blonde hair, and he still hasn’t replied. Having your heroes leave you on read really gets to your psyche. 

WINNER - Baker Mayfield: Nikocado Avocado who? Johnny Manziel’s rebrand is the best social experiment of the decade. 

LOSER - Lamar Jackson: There are only so many words in Lamar’s vocabulary to describe how he feels after a loss. Five. And unfortunately, he used them all last week after losing to the Chiefs. Now he literally doesn’t know what to say. Somebody get this man a dictionary.

WINNER - Andy Dalton: His family was beginning to wonder if Andy was still alive. Not only were they shocked to hear that he is, but they were even more surprised to hear he’s still playing football after being named the Panthers starting quarterback for week 3.  

LOSER - Justin Tucker: After missing another 50+ yard field goal on Sunday, rumors are swirling that the Ravens front office is planning to take Justin out to a pasture behind the practice facility and put him down soon.