WASHINGTON, D.C. - With LGBTQ+ flags and rainbow tinsel draped around the White House,  senior spokesperson Kate Bedingfield announced that the Biden administration was celebrating Memorial Day by paying tribute to the transgender men and women who’ve died in botched gender reassignment surgeries. 

“Today, we celebrate the real heroes who gave everything for this country,” Bedingfield said solemnly. “Heroes like Gervisha Johnson, who knew at just three and a half years old that she was born in the wrong body and risked everything when she went into the operating room as a young man in an effort to find her true self. It’s their sacrifices, fighting for freedom of equality and expression, that make this country so great.”

The move has conservative groups and veterans up in arms. “Biden’s decision to ignore our fallen service men and women on Memorial Day is utterly disgraceful,” Concerned Veterans For America Executive Director Russ Duerstein. “My brothers didn’t choose to get blown to pieces by IEDs because they felt like wearing dresses or painting their toenails to get attention,” said Marine veteran Zach Towey. 

At press time, Biden was seen honoring America’s fallen service members by placing LGBTQ+ flags on graves at Arlington National Cemetery.