VP Harris Gets Mysterious Call To Leave The U.S. And Report To The Moon To Lead Planet Earth

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after the news broke that President Biden would not be running for reelection, Vice President Kamala Harris received a mysterious phone call from two men claiming to be representatives of the Illuminati telling her to immediately report to the moon to become the Supreme Leader of Earth

“Congratulations Mrs. Harris, you’ve been selected for an important role to lead all mankind. It’s much more important than President of the United States. You need to pack your bags immediately. You’ll be heading to a top secret base on the moon by the end of the day.” 

The two pranksters, President Trump and newly chosen running mate JD Vance, reportedly couldn’t get through the whole call without bursting out in laughter. 

But that didn’t spark any red flags for the Vice President who seemed to believe everything two pranksters said. “Barack is this you?!” Harris replied. “I always knew you had something big in store for me. When is my ride coming?”

At press time, a handful of Trump allies were seen approaching Harris at his behest in further efforts to throw her off her game - with Rep. Matt Gaetz asking the Vice President if she wanted to attend a “party in his pants”, and former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy trying to woo Harris with his sexual charm donning a cologne so repugnant the White House cleaning staff had to hose him down in the back alley. 

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