Cheapskate or Shrewd Businessman? Bezos Stuns Wedding Guests with Cash Bar and Catered Olive Garden

VENICE, ITALY – Celebrities, business tycoons, and dignitaries from around the globe gathered to celebrate Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez’s wedding on Friday.

While expectations for one of the world’s wealthiest individuals were high, many high-profile guests were stunned to learn there were only cash bars.

“It’s not about the money,” multimillionaire Kim Kardashian complained to The Gas Lamp. “But the guy is worth, like, a bazillion dollars. Can’t he buy us a few drinks?”

Adding insult to injury, guests were even more shocked when they saw waiters carrying out large, flimsy, lukewarm sheet trays of Olive Garden for dinner.

As chaos erupted in the dining hall, the DJ attempted to inform guests that they could help themselves to spaghetti and meatballs, chicken and shrimp carbonara, or Olive Garden’s renowned fried ravioli, complemented by unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.

According to sources, Bezos stopped at an Olive Garden location in New Jersey en route from Medina to pick up enough food for 200 people, reportedly saving him thousands of dollars.

At press time, Bezos’ bride looked furious as the two sailed off on a budget group party boat surrounded by dozens of rowdy tourists.