BELLEVILLE, MI - On Tuesday, President Biden joined the United Auto Workers striking against General Motors to encourage them to keep up the fight. “What you all are doing is so important to the fabric of our country,” Biden said. “I remember the first time I waved my sign and stood where you were. It was the spring of 1886 and me and my classmates were sick of seeing our friends lose fingers and toes planting those nasty railroad tracks. Some of those spikes were bigger than our heads. And it might have been worth it if they didn’t pay us with wooden nickels. Maybe if they paid us in bread loaves or scrap metal like the fancy kids up north got. But finally, we said ‘enough’. So me and my buddies walked out one day, determined to teach those corporate fat cats a lesson. After management realized they’d have to pay an arm and a leg to hire those sneaky Chinese fellas from out west, they gave us what we deserved.” At press time, Biden couldn’t recall what The Great Railroad strike of 1886 was or why all those people in red shirts were shouting in a circle.